21 Years Passed

Started looking back on the post that "I" had posted, couldn't recall anything that actually happened. All i could recall was only the past 3-4 Years. Everything was just like a dream, i couldn't explain. It felt real and the same time unreal, bullshit?

Busy with all my projects, working solo, people that doesn't give shit about group projects. I also don't give shit about their GPA. Who cares :D

Wanna apologise to those that i hurt for the past, it was my naive actions and thoughts. Wish that you all are healed, i dare not ask for forgiveness.

Going back to my work, mind blown everyone. MIND BLOWN


I am not forgiven.

Ending my 20

Spent my 20 years, now finding it harder to understand myself. Why concern about peer pressure?! I was once happy for what I am, wasn't I? Have to tell myself, "Stay the same for your own sake not for others, Change yourself for your own sake not for others." I will then be happy. 

Served the nation, no regret even when people doesn't try to understand or doesn't understand or don't care.
Because what I have done is for "myself", "my goal" .

Coming New Year, hope thing run smoothly. Get myself busy, entertained, not feeling wasted, most importantly healthy. 80 more years to go damn it! XD

Empty shell

Yesterday i started out to have a slight fever maybe due to my wisdom teeth, my jaws felt worse than before. It had been around a year or so that i have the wisdom teeth not removed. I thought of removing as it can cause my gum to be in bad condition and giving no room for my other teeth. Now i felt so tired and ill, my brother do not know where to stand for the religion that will only the true one.

I lack of knowledge, wisdom and more. Discipline is what i am lacked of, lacking it brought me failures. I promise that i will be more discipline in life whatever it takes. I will fail once, twice or more, i need chances. Typing does not work, saying does not work, like people said " action speaks louder than words "

i feel numb

Choice is mine.

after receiving results of my O , felt unhappy as i got a D7 for my english. well ... i onli got ELR2B2 ... which was onli 23 ..

No much place for me to screw in. I want to face NS instead, discussed with my mom. She always against my will towards going to NS, hope that by this friday i would be able to convince her, let her truly let me off to NS. hate studying for now.

走路人

**advise given by people. true or false?

no matter what. walk the same old path.**

Trip back to malaysia last two weeks was ... well bored. handheld electronic games since no computer there.

My grandmother was diagnosed with no cancer by another hospital, i felt pissed and irritated by the problem about whether she have cancer. Cant do much, even though she is not close to me but what i know she affects my life ... coz the one getting affected will be my mom.

Second day of my arrival from malaysia, i went to ayer rajar for interview for job. I expected her to ask me question, ended up ... she spoke to me lots of shit that i just forget about it. Friday, went early for job, didnt even noe how to clock a card. (well, my job is a medical industry) Learning that all the employees are very on time for work and leaving. I think maybe soon enuf i'll be like them, maybe now i had not yet know the importance for time management.

I hope for the best in life, He is still always in my life, time to put him into my heart. Love you. my father in Heaven.

Take Care.

O level period, ppl kana cancer ... my grandma, and my mom's friend's husband. Those who had raised me up before.

I hope St. Damien would help to keep them in prayers, i do not want anyone of them to leave, gimme somemore time. I havent even get my 1st pay, i never even able to give back to them.

... My mom went back to M'sia, i am left with chores. Hope the lord will help me through this hard work, because i cant handle this much. This is my 4th time taking care of my house if i counted correctly.

Hope my mom has a safe trip back and forth.

nights.

My Thursday (19.8.10)

Just had a great chat with my dad, finding that life is ... i still have no idea as no conclusion made. Maybe is about choices, such a boring subject to talk about ... but have to know all about life as we have to live.

Everything seems to be only have (same level of Good and Bad) and not just acquire the (Good) onli ... I wish that there will be something that is onli Good. I am really tired of life, can Jesus Christ come down now? To Jesus Christ, i say :"It's about time man, please dun take leave eh."

Churches always talking about heaven, God damn **** it is getting on my nerves, could he just bloody show me practically how heaven is and not giving me theory right now. I am getting very impatient.

I dun even think having so much human experience can be useful when we are in heaven, how the **** are we going to do the practical without a human body. Saying all these i felt myself like an annoying bast***. But the fact is no evidence is shown!

(Just like me, geog prelim .... all the bullshit and no evidence shown, i am just learning what people are doing!)

Came to blog to release all this ridiculous stress, felt much more better now. C6 for my chinese, what a nice result (Sacarstic Tone) ... i was joking about it somemore.

life sux life sux life sux life sux LGLGLGLG

Rainy Days

Started walking to school from term 3, dark in the early morning cant even see where i am walking, light from my phone lit the path i was walking on, ... at the third week, i took bus to school as the ground was wet, remembering the past the way i waited for bus ... the times at the bus stop.

I just wish the rain could stop. Life getting bored every moment, lazy attitude ... stubborn, not even prepared for national exams when left with around 2 months. Finding for stuff that interest me, ... heard preaching from this old christian lady... coming to my house every thursday without fail. A minute of joy received from her, for sharing those bible verse ... when i read by myself again, it was so plain ... heart like the still water, as i understand nothing by myself.

Basketball today, wishing that there is no rain no storm, best is to have some clouds covering us :)

Install ... (Day 7 of holiday)

5th june

Went for En-mazing race ... met with a RJC guy call Jim, ... i saw him feeling so tired, having to see his head flung here and there ... i asked him to lean on me, ... he tried to be awake again ... however still see him flinging his head ... hah.

Frozen yogurt ... Eeuk! i dun quite like it somehow ... sour? ...

Yesterday, 6th june

Mass ... Meeting ... wanted to go zen house to play few match of pool, i was having bad flu.

Went for another mass at 5.30 as it was corpus christi day ...

Today, 7th june

Woke up at 6.00am ... prepare ... late for geog, in this team consist of Ijaz, Kenneth, Daniel, Sherman. We was taking the quiz so lightly, sherman answered most ... we got 2nd ^^ ... hah quite glad of it. Watched Install, ... dun understand a shit at all. Bloggggggg on.

Having a headache ... (Day 2 of holiday)

今天，头疼不知what happened.

本想在school做holiday homework, no mood eh. suddenly having flash back, 不想再回头看了.

Wasted much of these two days, sleep eat and play.

Wish that tml will be a better day.